I got to have one of those special “let’s talk” church-leader conversations with one of our Iski believers this last week.

I won’t get into all the messy details, but the main gist of it is that, for over a year and a half, this individual in our small jungle church has refused to keep his pigs in a pen. This has caused more than a little unrest in our agrarian community, where people’s gardens are their only source of food.

You know how when someone is being especially gluttonous, we might refer to their behavior as “eating like a pig?” Yeah, well, pigs have totally earned that reputation.

For those not especially acquainted with swine and their many attributes, I can break it down for you like this: If you were to take a mid-size bulldozer, merge it with a massive garbage disposal, endow it with the personality of the most stubborn and obstinate person you know, give it a Millennial’s unabashed sense of entitlement, and add a splash of severe body odor, you would basically have created a pig. Except pigs are worse.

Anyway, many (most) of the local gardens have been getting totally thrashed by this pig for a long time, and people are getting understandably ticked. Having your neighbor’s animal ravage your garden, after months of hard work and diligent care on your part, is SUPER frustrating.*

As I was talking with this guy about how this sort of thing really isn’t acceptable inside the church, I found his responses interesting:

Seth: “Hey, man, this really isn’t OK. When you let your pig eat other people’s food, it’s like you’re stealing from them.”

Guy: “Wild pigs eat people’s gardens. They should be upset with the wild pigs.”

Seth: “Yeah, wild pigs are a problem too, but I know of 8 families, including myself, that have personally chased your pig out of their gardens. And wild pigs don’t usually mess with gardens close the village.”

Guy: “The real problem is that the teenagers are sleeping around, and God is judging their families by cursing their gardens and ruining their food.”

Seth: “OK, that ancestral belief is not consistent with what the Bible says, and I know that you already know that. And I can tell you, for a fact, that the reason there are no sweet potatoes left in MY garden is because your pig ate them all.”

Guy: “I’m raising the pig so I can sell it to pay my sons’ school fees.”

Seth: “I don’t have a problem with you raising the pig for money, it’s that you’re letting it roam free in the village.”

Guy: “When I keep it in a pen it’s always squealing for me to feed it. It’s a lot happier when I just let it roam around.”

Seth: “It’s happier because IT’S EATING EVERYONE ELSE’S FOOD!”

[This is not where the conversation ended, but it’s where I’m going to stop recounting it.]

What really stood out to me in this whole exchange was the individual’s ability to dodge ownership of any personal responsibility for the situation. It was impressive how much effort he was expending to consistently turn the conversation off of his own actions, and thus absolve himself of guilt.

He never denied any of the accusations. He didn’t have to. As long as he could move the conversation in a different direction, he could avoid addressing his part in the problem.

As long as he could put the focus on something else, then he was off the hook.

It occurred to me later on, that what I had encountered with this individual was not an uncommon trait amongst us humans. He was using subtle tweaks in the conversation to misdirect me (and himself) from acknowledging an inconvenient and undesirable reality concerning his life and conduct. Sure, his case was a more flagrant example than most,** but at its heart, it was nothing original.

Politicians are notorious for this, but before we go pointing fingers, let’s spend a little time doing a bit of introspection. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that we engage in similar behavior on a fairly regular basis. My understanding of this reality has grown dramatically since becoming a parent.

When my boys were younger, and they would get into an altercation, I would often get a bare-bones explanation of the situation from them: “He had that toy, and I wanted it, so I took it!” would be countered with “He took my toy, so I hit him!”

As they have aged, however, their explanations have begun to evolve: “He had been playing with that toy for a long time, so he needed to share it!” is now rebutted with “He was stealing that from me, so I tried to stop him!”

They are learning the merits of cloaking simple truths with more complex utterances, thus affording themselves a potential opportunity to avoid culpability. In a few years they will be as well-versed in such misleading wordplay as us grown-ups, justifying any of their actions or inactions with well-crafted, self-exonerating explanations.

And if you think this is more of a secular problem than a church one, give a missions challenge at a church sometime…

Seth: “Jesus told his disciples, ‘I have been given all authority in heaven and earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations…and be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’”

Christian: “You know, in the original Greek, the Great Commission isn’t in the command form.”

Seth: “OK, but it’s still a very clear articulation of what he wants his followers engaged in.”

Christian: “But that’s for people that have been called to missions. I haven’t been called.”

Seth: “So, when Jesus says that he will be with us always, that doesn’t apply to you?”

Christian: “No, THAT PART applies to me. It’s the other part that doesn’t. The part about going.”

Seth: “But the context is the same for both sentences. I’m not even sure he took a breath between saying those two things…”

Christian: “If God wanted me to get involved in taking the Gospel out to people who don’t have it, then He needs to contact me specifically. Like He did with Samuel.”

Seth: “But that thing with Samuel was uber unique. I mean, we don’t demand individualized communications from God before we implement any other New Testament principles, but then with mission work…”

Christian: “Besides, I’m already a missionary where I am right now. You don’t have to go to be a missionary.”

Seth: “I think you’re confusing ‘missionary’ with ‘Christian.’ Being sent out by one’s church is the definition of what a missionary is. A Christian who stays in his church is just called a Christian.”

Christian: “So, you’re saying you’re better than me because you work with people in another place?”

Seth: “What?! NO! I’m just saying that if we use words with specific meanings too generally then they cease to be useful in articulating the specific meaning they were originally being used to communicate.”

Christian: “You know, if EVERYONE left to be a missionary, then there would be NO ONE LEFT HERE.”

Seth: “I’m not saying everyone needs to go. I’m just saying that everyone needs to own the task we’ve been given, and we need to engage with getting the Gospel to the people that still don’t have an opportunity to hear it.”

Christian: “My pastor says that the passage at the beginning of Acts, where Jesus says that the church will go to specific geographical locations, like Jerusalem, Judah/Samaria, and the uttermost parts of the earth, He was REALLY just saying that we should be focusing on our families, our neighbors, and people outside our regular sphere of influence.”

You may notice a few similarities to this conversation and the one I outlined earlier. (And, it’s worth noting, our Iski guys would just shake their heads in disbelief if they were privy to such talk.)

My 4 year old would just say: “I don’t want to do what he said.”

Give him time though. He’ll learn the ropes eventually. It won’t be long before he has mastered the art of the insincere, yet palatable, response. Then he’ll be able to hold his same conviction without having to ruffle his conscience’s feathers.

Oh, and when I say “palatable response,” I mean “palatable to other people.” I’m pretty sure talk like that makes God gag.

*I have personal experience in this department.

** In Iski culture, each of these responses are viewed as somewhat legitimate. Before you get all judgy though, remember that it’s always easier to find faults when looking at another culture, because our cultural blinders are only equipped to shield us from OUR OWN culturally condoned foolishness.